I'll be 20 soon and i just had my heart torn the 2nd time in life.
I'm still not over it..more like not over him i doubt i'll ever be but if he's worth the wait i'm waiting. and i still am even though i showed my cibai kia lansiness to him.
For now, i start building my life up, im back on my own 2 feet after a month plus of being an emotional wreck. I have my good friends who slapped me back on my own two feet and i thank you darlings :)
Throughout the previous relationship, i learnt alot. I was definately an immature brat who thought things would just go along fine if i let the wind blow me wherever it wanted. fuck no.
As i went through the break up i started to change. I really did not feel like myself but i changed. Some people have noticed it too, but i wouldnt say im all matured now because in life if you're too matured then where's the fun?
Anyways, i really died internally. and by that i mean...I didnt eat. i Didnt sleep. I cried silently. and yes now im a freaking bamboo stick with no ass or tits. THANKS to chris for noticing. T_T jesus. Well it will grow back with some time..to come. er i hope.
Im back home now. Back in the hell house but not for long. I'll be on the move again and its time to become independent. *Yay for me.*
All in all, i really miss him as he was the best man i've met. people would always say "there's better fishes in the sea. by x 100" well guess what i honestly don't care bout other fishes or prawns or bulls. If i like one i like that one only. PERIOD! of course if nothing workso ut then hunt la. :( ergh.
Oh and seeing lovey dovey couples out together makes me feel ARGHHH!!!
Note to self: Bear with it.
so i might be getting back into modeling and then take over the daddehs biz. But i've got alot to learnnnnn~
for now, im in progress of becomming someone better and make HIM proud, and myself and my parents andddd my kawan baik. ;)
much love,
Jen aka Choilin.
